While some states in the US and provinces in Canada do recognize multi-parent families legally, these types of family structures still face limited protections. However, in a huge step forward for family diversity and multi-parent families, a judge in Quebec, Canada, has recently ruled that it is unconstitutional to deny parental rights to families with three or more parents. This means that all involved adults are now seen as legal parents to the child by law. This might be seen in same-sex couples with surrogates that want an active parental role and polyamorous or consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships containing three or more romantic partners.
Moving Beyond Monogamy as the Default
In recent years, terms like “polyamory,” “throuples,” and “consensual non-monogamy” have been on the rise as interest in these relationship structures grows. However, with the dominance of monogamy and heteronormativity, many still believe permitting any family structures beyond the “one mom and one dad” nuclear family will lead to confusion and harm children. This bias has a negative psychological impact on individuals who identify as polyamorous or consensual non-monogamous and leads to false assumptions about the happiness of individuals in multi-person relationships. However, research has found that there is really no difference in happiness levels between monogamous and polyamorous relationships.
Credit: ALEXANDRIA SAURMAN, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
More Partners, More Love and Support within a Family
There are actually many benefits to multi-parent structures for children, as shown in the saying “it takes a village.” Due to the heavy emphasis on open communication, many children of polyamorous parents say their parents treat them with patience and fairness, even admitting when they are wrong and apologizing. This is something the children can appreciate because it strengthens the trust between them and their parents. A study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that these children also appreciate having their parents’ romantic partners in their lives, as they are a source of happiness, whether it is through providing care or simply being fun people to be around.
Protection of parental rights is also essential for the wellbeing of children overall. Legalization of polyamorous relationships and multiparent families can diminish stigma, but more importantly, it can aid in children’s wellbeing. It is critical to ensure that parents, rather than outside entities like the state, can make major decisions about their children’s health and education.
Reject Limitations on Love
Family styles are expanding and becoming more diverse, but the “save the children” sentiment keeps discrimination at large. It’s a rhetoric we see time and time again with things such as book bans in local libraries and laws regarding trans youth and gender affirming care. Currently, polyamory or CNM is not a recognized minority in the US, meaning there are no legal protections in the workplace for polyamorous people. This means that there is much work left to do. Overcoming our biases and knee-jerk reaction to ask “what about the children?” is the only way we can move towards better legal rights, protecting all types of families and relationship styles.
Credit: Giuseppe Milo, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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